I’m a (mild/medium) Sex Maniac

Read on the newspaper several days ago about a disease where a woman is constantly in a hyper-aroused state. It’s a recurrent thing which can even last for a few months. The patient described it as uncomfortable and embarrassing. Of course. Imagine you have to be in orgasm for hours, or even days.

So what is my point in saying this? Because I want to find myself an excuse for being curious of sex, for my desire to experience it. People say it’s just a natural thing. Like food, like breathing, that we can’t live without sex. But still, one cannot go around announcing their…uhm…what’s the word for ‘hunger’ in the sexual concept? Okay, they cannot go around telling people they want sex like when they tell people they’re hungry. Imagine changing ‘food’ for ‘sex’ in our everyday life conversation. Think: Where people usually ask another: ‘Had your lunch/dinner?”, that’ll be “Had your sex?”, “What did u have?” will be “With who did you do it?”; while “Is the food good?” will be “Is the sex good?”… … Oh, I’m poisoning my own brain, if that is even possible. From this moment on, anyone mentioning ‘food’ or ‘eat’ will make me think of sex. Thanks to myself.

This is so not going to be anywhere

I’m beginning to doubt I’ll ever finish this thing I’m trying to do now. I always do this, I mean stop half-way in the middle of things, okay maybe not even halfway, very early on the way. I lack of enthusiasm. Hey, I don’t have any for life, how do you suppose I have one for writing?

Oh, I should really face my life and arrange it properly. And face all things adults should face, and not just leave it there lying idle until it come to knock at my door and look at me straight on my face asking: so, when do you want to settle me? ME! I have to ask you like this because I’m due tomorrow!

And I’ll not be as lucky that time. As I am today. I almost think that God is at my side, really. When suddenly there is no test today, which is relatively impossible to happen whichever way you think of it. But it happens, and I didn’t even pray for it. You see, I procrastinated and didn’t read the notes until this morning. I woke up, and know that there is something very, very important today. I was in a state of ‘blankness’, but I know there is something major today that I have to attend to. More important than a morning class…Then it suddenly come to me that there is a TEST!! It was eight-twenty-two a.m., and I nearly shocked myself to death by thinking that the test is at eight a.m. for a fraction of second, but then my brain begin to function normally and I remembered that the test will be at eleven a.m.

Anyway, there was no test and although I cannot believe my luck, I also wish that I can be spared from the assignment of the same subject which is waiting for me to do it, which I’ll be procrastinating and it’ll be contributing to my lack of sleep.

My Typical Morning

Call it ordinary, but I think rather not. I tend to infuse caffeine into my system the first thing in the morning. Hey, isn’t my fault, even cocoa drinks have caffeine. But yeah, I should drink at least a full glass of water the first thing in the morning, to flush my system clean. But heck, I’m never the healthy type.

I do have bowel movement problem (Bowel movement – what a word…I actually don’t understand this word when I first encounter it, English not being my mother tongue…well thinking about it, I am not sure which is my mother tongue or even if I got one, but that’s another story. This ‘bowel movement’ word actually means ‘shitting’ or rather ‘the act of shitting’, ha ha, can’t doubt that ‘bowel movement’ is really a much nicer term eh?). I move my bowel around twice or thrice (does this word even exist?) a week. But I’ll have to sit in the toilet for around half an hour every time, usually waiting for it to come out. Ok, that’s what everyone do when they shit, what else can you do other than waiting? I know, I just want to describe it. But sometimes the waiting is a waste of time when nothing comes out.

Anyway, my morning usually starts at nine, sometimes at eight, rarely at seven, and once or twice in a year at six (during trips, where one have to get up real early to gather at someplace or wherever the bus is waiting, and it’ll not be much of a morning cause I’ll be sleeping on the bus). My morning never starts early (between five to seven-thrty) since I left high school. Maybe I just want to get back all the lost hours when I have to wake up at five a.m. to catch the bus, or maybe because after I leave high school I do not live at home and tend to sleep late. Ok, my usual going-to-bed time is around two. Yah, average two, but lately it becomes three or four a.m. Not surprising my dark eye bags worsen…and it’s not because the assignments or exams, it’s because of my own uselessness and disciplinelessness.

My phone will ring at seven, or six-fifty, and I’ll snooze it, then I’ll snooze it again, and after the third or fourth time I’ll get fed up and switch it off. Then I’ll wake up ‘naturally’at eight or eight-thirty a.m. and force/drag myself into the bathroom and wash (note: not bath, just teeth-brushing and face-washing). Then if I have enough time or I feel like it, I’ll take a bath, then if I have more time, I’ll put some caffeine and a few pieces of crackers into my system. If I’m late (which is mostly the case when I have eight am classes), I’ll just rush to class without having anything except maybe a gulp of water, sometime if I’m super-late I’ll even skip the proper washing (no brushing and use only water to wash my face, I know it is disgusting, but I rather save my time for class rather than be clean, at least no one will know…).

It’s a mess of a morning I admit. Good thing I have only two days when class starts at eight, and at another two days it starts at eleven (I’ll sleep till nine-thirty or even ten on these days). But hey, maybe I can improve this when I’m working. Oh, I’ll be really rushing then…I cannot be late anymore, and I must look nice…oh, I’ll just be a student forever…I can even catch eight a.m. classes if I wake up at eight now, living so near…but I doubt it when I start working.

Working… … … … … …

FOREWORD

I so hate it when all the famous people begin to write books. Like they’re thinking “ I’m so famous people want to have more of me, so maybe I’ll just write something for them, and earn a couple of dollars along the way”. Never mind if it’s a diary, a biography, or something totally unrelated to them in any ways, I just so hate it. They ruin the market for real people who are not famous and really need the money from writing books, and who have a real talent for it.

So what was I thinking when I wrote this? One, I’m not famous. Two, this is not a book, or even if it is I’m never going to publish it, or rather its impossible to get this published since I’m neither famous nor talented in writing.

Okay, my name is Arv, and this whole blog is going to be about my life (or rather, my thoughts). Which is so just messed up but I still have to be thankful for it, for the sake of be thankful of what you have’ lessons I get since I’m a child.

I’m not usually this sarcastic and sceptical, but maybe I just don’t realise it when I’m not writing it down. I think I’ll not bother you with my introduction; I’ll just let you figure it out yourself when you read along my thoughts. Mind you this will not be a good blog: its plotless, uninspiring (maybe even will make you feel down), and so messed upl. Therefore, if you are a total classic literature geek or just a normal person who can’t stand any of these, please don’t waste your time flipping through this useless thing….and this is my thought, so it’s entirely made-up, any coincidence with real-life people or with your thought is just…uh…coincidence (that’ll do for the usual ‘I’m not copying this from anywhere’ disclaimer people usually have in front of their book so that they wont offend anyone).

By the way, i don’t have any idea on anything right now, so I’ll just first post anything I wrote previously in my journal…