It’s watery..

My eyes.

I’ll be 90

I’ll be 90 and still thinks like a child.

I’ll still watch anime and manga and comics and like ‘em.

I’ll still not wash my underwear by hand. In fact, I’ll still mix the white clothes with the rest of the clothes. Or rather, I’ll still mix everything in the washing machine, socks and all.

I’ll still be lazy, super lazy. Or lazier than I am now, if that’s possible.

I’ll still be afraid of driving. Or making mistake. Or not being up to other’s expectation.

I’ll still never go to 20 countries/places around the world…

OK, I seriously does not want the last one to happen. In fact, I want to raise the number of places to 50. Yeah, that sounds good. To go to at least 50 places in the world before I’m 90.

I’ll be 90 and still not own my own apartment.

I’d rather not have a house/condo/apartment than not trekking the globe. I’ll be very sorry for myself if at 90 I’m staying at this big, posh condo of my own but had never been anywhere except inside it.

Yeah, I’ll be a very well travelled 90 yr old wit a posh house to boot. The walls will be filled with my photos taken at all the places in the world. Then I can lazy around reading my fav manga while waiting for my cloth to wash in the washing machine.

That’s if I’ll be 90.

hmm…

Life’s interesting. Feels..unusual..

seafood, I dislike…

I wonder why I felt like vomiting after only smelling the smell of the big oyster at one expensive buffet I had last week. Not to mention the kind of things I had for the stupid price I paid. I guess I just don’t have the rich-people’s taste buds.

Let’s just say that I’m not very fond of water-creatures – whether as pet or food. I hate fish. I dislike prawn. And I think crab is only OK (which pale in comparison to other people’s opinon on crabs, as food of course) . And the last thing I want as pet is goldfish, or any kind of fish for that matter.

So I’ll pass on seafood. I enjoy noodle, be it clear noodle soup such as zhu chap, ngiu chap, etc; spicy variety such as curry mee or tomyam mee; or thick-gravied such as cantonese mee or mee hailam; or dried fried noodle such as char kuey tiow or singaporean beehun or just plain fried noodles they sell in my hometown.

I am after all, doesnt belong to the rich class high society people who eat spaghetti or steaks or stuff that cost you RM20 per meal… Yeah, I don’t like spaghetti, and seafood. But I liked the Carbonara Seafood Spaghetti I ate once in a mamak, but I think that’s only because the sauce looks & taste like the gravy in cantonese style noodle.

My love of literature

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to be an angel, but I don’t want to die. I don’t want to stay in heaven either.

Elves is like dragons. They are not exactly invicible, its just that they have a long lifespan. And hard to kill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m a big fan of literature. Not classics, more on those modern ones, like Kubo Tite’s Bleach poem, like fantasy books wording, like blogs, like sentences in songs…I simply love to read, and want to keep & engrave those beautiful sentences in my mind. To keep it, and own it, as befitting of human nature – to love and want to own all things beautiful.

I always wonder how someone can write something so beautiful, so enticing, it makes your heart throb, makes you feel it, just by reading. I think that’s where my urge of writing comes from, so that one day I’ll be able to mesmerise people with my words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
…I can’t…I really can’t…It’s my last time to see you and I’m…I’m terrible aren’t I…Kurosaki kun, you know, I…had a lot of things I wanted to do…

I want to be a teacher…I also want to be an astronaut…and also make my own cake shop…I want to go to Mister Doughnut’s and say ‘ I’ll have them all! ”…And I want to go to Thirthy-One and say “ I’ll have them all too! ” Ohhh..I wish I could live life five times over!

Then, I’d be born in five different cities, I’d stuff myself with different delicious things five times each, I’d have five different jobs…and then for those five times…I’d fall in love with the same person.

…Thank you, Kurosaki-kun… Good bye.

- Bleach, chapter 237, Good Bye Halycon Days –

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what do i really want?

Why is money seems so important? Actually I think the real cause of people working so hard is not that we want to earn that much money, it’s because we dun dare to stop & think about what we really want.

I don’t know what I want, not sure what I really want…does it matter anyway? Cause can I get it if I know what I really want? Maybe that’s why I don’t want to think about what I really want, cause if I know what I want then I’ll knowwhat I’m doing now is not what I want. Then I’ll hate it & be feeling miserable for knowing that I can’t get the thing I really want. Much miserable than not knowing what I want…ok, I have enough of this, goin to take a nice bath & then have a nice dineer & then watch my anime or anything good on TV – maybe this is what I want after all…

I’m a (mild/medium) Sex Maniac

Read on the newspaper several days ago about a disease where a woman is constantly in a hyper-aroused state. It’s a recurrent thing which can even last for a few months. The patient described it as uncomfortable and embarrassing. Of course. Imagine you have to be in orgasm for hours, or even days.

So what is my point in saying this? Because I want to find myself an excuse for being curious of sex, for my desire to experience it. People say it’s just a natural thing. Like food, like breathing, that we can’t live without sex. But still, one cannot go around announcing their…uhm…what’s the word for ‘hunger’ in the sexual concept? Okay, they cannot go around telling people they want sex like when they tell people they’re hungry. Imagine changing ‘food’ for ‘sex’ in our everyday life conversation. Think: Where people usually ask another: ‘Had your lunch/dinner?”, that’ll be “Had your sex?”, “What did u have?” will be “With who did you do it?”; while “Is the food good?” will be “Is the sex good?”… … Oh, I’m poisoning my own brain, if that is even possible. From this moment on, anyone mentioning ‘food’ or ‘eat’ will make me think of sex. Thanks to myself.

This is so not going to be anywhere

I’m beginning to doubt I’ll ever finish this thing I’m trying to do now. I always do this, I mean stop half-way in the middle of things, okay maybe not even halfway, very early on the way. I lack of enthusiasm. Hey, I don’t have any for life, how do you suppose I have one for writing?

Oh, I should really face my life and arrange it properly. And face all things adults should face, and not just leave it there lying idle until it come to knock at my door and look at me straight on my face asking: so, when do you want to settle me? ME! I have to ask you like this because I’m due tomorrow!

And I’ll not be as lucky that time. As I am today. I almost think that God is at my side, really. When suddenly there is no test today, which is relatively impossible to happen whichever way you think of it. But it happens, and I didn’t even pray for it. You see, I procrastinated and didn’t read the notes until this morning. I woke up, and know that there is something very, very important today. I was in a state of ‘blankness’, but I know there is something major today that I have to attend to. More important than a morning class…Then it suddenly come to me that there is a TEST!! It was eight-twenty-two a.m., and I nearly shocked myself to death by thinking that the test is at eight a.m. for a fraction of second, but then my brain begin to function normally and I remembered that the test will be at eleven a.m.

Anyway, there was no test and although I cannot believe my luck, I also wish that I can be spared from the assignment of the same subject which is waiting for me to do it, which I’ll be procrastinating and it’ll be contributing to my lack of sleep.

My Typical Morning

Call it ordinary, but I think rather not. I tend to infuse caffeine into my system the first thing in the morning. Hey, isn’t my fault, even cocoa drinks have caffeine. But yeah, I should drink at least a full glass of water the first thing in the morning, to flush my system clean. But heck, I’m never the healthy type.

I do have bowel movement problem (Bowel movement – what a word…I actually don’t understand this word when I first encounter it, English not being my mother tongue…well thinking about it, I am not sure which is my mother tongue or even if I got one, but that’s another story. This ‘bowel movement’ word actually means ‘shitting’ or rather ‘the act of shitting’, ha ha, can’t doubt that ‘bowel movement’ is really a much nicer term eh?). I move my bowel around twice or thrice (does this word even exist?) a week. But I’ll have to sit in the toilet for around half an hour every time, usually waiting for it to come out. Ok, that’s what everyone do when they shit, what else can you do other than waiting? I know, I just want to describe it. But sometimes the waiting is a waste of time when nothing comes out.

Anyway, my morning usually starts at nine, sometimes at eight, rarely at seven, and once or twice in a year at six (during trips, where one have to get up real early to gather at someplace or wherever the bus is waiting, and it’ll not be much of a morning cause I’ll be sleeping on the bus). My morning never starts early (between five to seven-thrty) since I left high school. Maybe I just want to get back all the lost hours when I have to wake up at five a.m. to catch the bus, or maybe because after I leave high school I do not live at home and tend to sleep late. Ok, my usual going-to-bed time is around two. Yah, average two, but lately it becomes three or four a.m. Not surprising my dark eye bags worsen…and it’s not because the assignments or exams, it’s because of my own uselessness and disciplinelessness.

My phone will ring at seven, or six-fifty, and I’ll snooze it, then I’ll snooze it again, and after the third or fourth time I’ll get fed up and switch it off. Then I’ll wake up ‘naturally’at eight or eight-thirty a.m. and force/drag myself into the bathroom and wash (note: not bath, just teeth-brushing and face-washing). Then if I have enough time or I feel like it, I’ll take a bath, then if I have more time, I’ll put some caffeine and a few pieces of crackers into my system. If I’m late (which is mostly the case when I have eight am classes), I’ll just rush to class without having anything except maybe a gulp of water, sometime if I’m super-late I’ll even skip the proper washing (no brushing and use only water to wash my face, I know it is disgusting, but I rather save my time for class rather than be clean, at least no one will know…).

It’s a mess of a morning I admit. Good thing I have only two days when class starts at eight, and at another two days it starts at eleven (I’ll sleep till nine-thirty or even ten on these days). But hey, maybe I can improve this when I’m working. Oh, I’ll be really rushing then…I cannot be late anymore, and I must look nice…oh, I’ll just be a student forever…I can even catch eight a.m. classes if I wake up at eight now, living so near…but I doubt it when I start working.

Working… … … … … …